


Seven or Eight Things You Know About Him

by anarchycox



Series: Anarchycox's 2019 Personal Writing Challenge [7]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Break Up and Make Up, Fluff and Angst, Get Together, M/M, it is a bit of a mixed bag really, minor smut, sweet but heavy, this story takes a turn in the last third
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 21:37:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17774639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Scenes from Eggsy building a friendship and then relationship with Percival.





	Seven or Eight Things You Know About Him

“Hey, Percival can you help me on the range?” Eggsy was a bit nervous, he hadn’t had many conversations with the man as of yet. Eggsy had been a Kingsman a few months now, long enough to learn how much he still needed to learn. Them saving the day had been pure fucking chance. He didn’t want to keep leaving it all up to dumb luck. He had been working his way through the other Kingsman enhancing the skills he did have, learning things he didn’t know. He had solid skills with his hand guns, but was perfectly average on long. 

He didn’t like being perfectly average.

Percival was not perfectly average, near as he could tell the man would hold world records if he were allowed to. He knew Percival was the best, and he wanted to be better. But that did mean talking to the man who seemed rather cold. The look he was giving Eggsy made him shiver a bit.

“What help do you need Galahad?”

“I’m better than the minimum requirements for a field agent,” Eggsy said, “not by much, but I am. But that’s not good enough.” Percival just kept staring at him. “I’m not gunning for your job or nothing, but just...you never know what might happen in the field and I’m trying to just be better?”

“Jack of all trades, master of none?”

Eggsy felt his back straighten up, “Second half to that you know,” he smiled, a vicious grin, “Better than a master of one. Thanks for your time.” He knew this had been a bad idea.

“Tomorrow morning at 0900,” Percival said, “The outside range.”

“Supposed to rain tomorrow,” Eggsy said.

“I know,” Percival looked at him, and his expression barely changed, but Eggsy saw the challenge in his eyes.

“Look forward to it,” Eggsy gave a nod.

“In your Kingsman suit,” Percival called after him. “Does no good not training in your work clothes, your feel will be off.”

Eggsy realized how much time he spent on the range in his gym clothes and fuck that would affect things wouldn’t it. Bugger he was already learning from the man. The next morning he was on wet grass, the cold seeping into his skin, ruining his suit, and under Percival’s tutelage he was doing better.

The man knew his shit.

************************************

“Oliver,” Eggsy said stunned.

“Yes?” Percival looked at him.

“That’s your name.”

Percival’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my god, it is?” He looked pale, his hand trembled. “I am Oliver? They had stripped my name from me. I was only Percival, oh god. Galahad, Galahad, how can I thank you for this gift. I am Oliver? Are you sure, can it really be true?”

Eggsy stared at him in shock. “What the -?”

Percival dimmed, drew into himself. “It was a joke. A cruel prank. Of course none of us know our names once we become Kingsman. Or is it that you thought maybe I looked like an Oliver? Do you think that, could it be a name I came for myself?” His lip quivered, “But no, if I claim it, they will just take it from me again.”

“Are you shitting me?”

Percival blinked. “How can you be so ungentlemanly? To bring forth a name, and to imply I am somehow joking? Please you’ve tortured me enough for today. I cannot bear it. Begone from my sight, Eggsy.” He covered his face with his hands and his shoulders shook.

It took a good minute of standing there gobsmacked before he realized that Percival had called him Eggsy, not Galahad. “You bastard!” Percival lifted his head and his face was in its normal, calm demeanor. “You absolute bastard.”

“I’ve seen my parents wedding photos, we call me a very healthy premature birth,” Percival gave a faint smile. “Mother is a fan of Dickens. I loathe him.”

“You fucking troll.” Eggsy began to laugh. “Who woulda thought?”

“Few people,” Percival replied.

“Less few now,” Eggsy pointed out. The man had a sense of humour, one that was completely unexpected. He generally didn’t like when people were unexpected, it usually meant bad things. Here though, it was different. Unexpected on Percival was fun.

*************************************

Eggsy was working the punching bags and kept an eye on Harry who was doing his PT on the treadmill. The man had been doing well, steadily improving and was working his way back to the table. He saw Harry stumble just a little and right himself. He was getting tired, would have to stop soon. But Harry was pushing hard. Another stumble and Eggsy was moving over to help.

But Percival was already there. 

“Harry, don’t undo all your good work,” Percival’s voice was gentle but not pitying. A good balance. He pressed buttons and the treadmill slowed and then stopped. “This is a marathon, not a sprint.”

“I used to be whole,” Harry said. “I know how my limbs should work, and they don’t.”

“You are upset at how angry it makes you.”

“Of course I am.”

“You know you are a vicious, brutal asshole, who wears the gentleman persona as an armor to hide how angry you are.”

Eggsy froze. Sure they all knew that about Harry, but you didn’t actually say it out loud for fucks sake.

“I beg your pardon?” Harry was incredibly stiff, not just from the pain of his PT but from the words.

“No you don’t, and that is the point,” Percival said. “You are trying to change who you are. Why? Because of what was unleashed in the church?”

“Oi,” Eggsy snapped. Merlin had sent out memos that they were not ever to talk about that. There had been vague Merliny threats attached to it. They had kept everyone in line. Merlin always kept everyone in line. Except Harry, and maybe Eggsy. But everyone else toed the line. Why wasn’t Percival toeing the line?

“Of course I am scared of what happened in there!” Harry snapped. “That wasn’t me.”

“Yes it was. It was just you unleashed. I am not saying that you should be unleashed all the time, but you’ve shortened your chain and it is hurting you. Holding you back. You were always fueled by anger. To try to change that at this point is counterproductive,” Percival was just stating facts, which were obvious to him. “Use your anger.”

“I could so easily slip, it would be so easy,” Harry whispered. “What if I lost all control?”

“Then I would kill you,” Percival replied and smiled.

After a second Harry laughed, and Eggsy did too. Harry looked better, calmer than he had in awhile. “You are right,” Harry said. “I am hiding. And I need to stop.”

“Welcome back, Galahad,” Percival said and Harry nodded.

“I will need a new name,” Harry pointed out, “when I sit again.”

“It will be sorted.”

Eggsy watched them, colleagues returning to form. Percival was being so generous in a way that a few months ago Eggsy wouldn’t have expected out of him. But he knew better now. 

*********************************

“Fuck, you are hot,” Eggsy said in shock.

“I am aware,” Percival replied and adjusted his black tie. The tux fit perfectly, cut close but not too tightly and emphasized the strength in his shoulders and arms. He looked Eggsy up and down. “Your tux is interesting.”

Eggsy panicked and looked down at himself. “What the fuck is wrong with it?”

“Nothing,” Percival looked at him. “Interesting is interesting. A blend of what you like, what Harry likes, and what Andrew insists on. It works. You are charismatic and the look will draw eyes, but they will remember the green velvet more than your face.”

Eggsy relaxed a bit. “Yeah, that is what I was going for. Thanks for going to this with me, yeah? I know intel gathering is more my strength than yours but backup is nice, and my other four choices weren’t available.” Oh god, he had actually said that out loud. 

Percival gave him a faint smile. “It is fine, I should improve my intel and people skills anyways. It is not good to be a master of one skills, someone once told me.”

Eggsy had to laugh a little. “That person must have been a right tosser. Best sniper the Kingsman ever had, seems like a pretty good skills to have mastered.”

“Oh, that’s not actually what I am a master of,” Percival replied.

“Really,” Eggsy grinned, because he bet he was going to hear something crazy outlandish, because Percival he knew was the funniest fucker on the planet when he chose to be.

“Yes, actually, I am a master of sex, was deemed too good at it, my dick too likely to destroy the world with its power so it was requested I become a sniper and stay away from mission sex. The world will never know what it lost.” He shook his head sadly. “The phrase big dick energy could have been in the lexicon fifteen years earlier.”

Eggsy had to brace himself on the wall he was laughing so hard. “Fuck, Oliver,” he said and could not stop the giggles.

“It that just a curse, or a request. I do take requests, though of course you have to submit a medical report so that I can make sure my prowess won’t kill you. Standard operating procedure.”

Eggsy had to run for the loo he was laughing so hard. When he came back, Percival was still just standing there with that faintly pleased small smile that Eggsy got to see on the regular, a smile few others saw. He was starting to be possessive of that smile. “Ready to be impressed by my skills?”

“I am,” Percival was in earnest.

Eggsy found out that Percival was a lovely dancer. The mission went smoothly and the next day as a joke, Eggsy sent his medical records to Percival. He was sure that he would get a pretty quick response but a day passed and there was nothing. He wondered if he had pushed just a little further than Percival would like.

The next day he received a heavily encrypted file that had a timer on it. He knew it was from Percival and sat at his computer waiting. Of course Roxy arrived as it was counting down from twenty seconds. “Roxy, leave this is for me,” he wouldn’t even look at her. This was going to be the most brilliant gag ever.

“What is it - a;lsdejfakld;sf my eyes!” Roxy slammed her eyes closed and ran into the door as she ran out of the room. Eggsy managed to stumble up and close and lock his door and go back to watch the video of Percival masturbating. If this was a joke, Eggsy couldn’t figure out what sort. When the video ended the whole file disappeared.

“You bastard,” Eggsy snarled. He opened his trousers and had a hard and fast wank, and threw the used tissues in the rubbish bin. When he had his breath back he had a man to hunt down. He wanted to see how much the man had been joking about being a sex god.

***************************************

The man had not been joking about being a sex god. Eggsy knew his clothes got taken off because hey he was on a bed, naked. But he didn’t remember how or quite when. There were kisses that made his head swim. And touches. How did the man figure out the exact right pressure that Eggsy liked against his skin.

Eggsy was a young guy with a decently high sex drive. And a good imagination. So he had maybe wondered what sex would be like with most of the people at work. He had tried Roxy and had almost passed out with how hard is brain noped out of that. Harry would be too gentle or Merlin too rough, though sometimes his brain flipped that and he guessed that Merlin would be too gentle and Harry too rough. Picturing them both had been a fun night, but nothing he had wanted to chase after.

Gawain would be fun and meaningless, Lamorak would be too romantic, Bors would be awkward since the guy was mostly straight.

But Percival, jesus, when he had pictured it, it was fine. Nice, because he liked the guy.

Wait, he liked the guy.

Oh fuck, he liked the guy.

“I’ve lost you, I never lose people during sex. It is hard to do since they are right under me,” Percival pulled his fingers out of Eggsy. “Are we done?”

“Maybe?” Eggsy looked at him. “Sort of depends on how you respond to what I am going to say.”

“My hard limits list is very short.”

That distracted Eggsy a bit. “How short?”

“Nothing that cannot provide authentic consent.”

“Wait so you like -”

“No, what I like and what I am willing to do for a partner are different things. My hard limits are very short, my do not like but willing to do, is longer.”

“That’s something we are going to talk about later,” Eggsy said. “My actual thing is this. I like you.” He waited for some sort of response from Percival.

“Very well?”

“That’s it, I tell you I like you and  _ very well _ ?” Eggsy is oddly offended.

“I had assumed a measure of liking since you let me put my fingers in your arse. Unless this is a hate fuck, and I didn’t think you were that annoyed at me for yelling at you on the range today for your poor form.”

“No you bastard, I like you,” Eggsy said. “As in maybe sort of enjoy your company and want to date you and all that.”

“I see,” Percival replied.

“Yup we are done here,” Eggsy declared and pushed Percival off of him and started to pull on some clothes.

Percival went to the bathroom and returned a few minutes later and dressed as well. “So where are we going?”

“We, you are leaving,” Eggsy said. “What do you mean we?”

“Well, you wanted a date before we fucked, I assumed we were leaving for said date,” Percival shrugged. “A pub, to the cinema, what would you like to do?”

“Look, we aren’t going on some bullshit date just so we can fuck after,” Eggsy was frustrated. “That just leads to me getting my heart broken and I don’t hate myself that much.”

“You shouldn’t hate yourself at all, you are nice.”

“Thanks,” Eggsy gave a sad smile. “I guess we see each other at work?”

“Eggsy, I like you too,” Percival said to him.

“Sure but not like how I like you.”

“Yes I do.”

“No, you don’t,” Eggsy was slowly getting pissed off. “This is not the time for one of your gags, Oliver.”

“Eggsy, what other people from work do I spend my off hours with? None. Work is work, and my life is my life. You are in my work, and in my life. Roxy is the only other and she is family. If I let you into my life, it is because I want you there. Now where do you want to fucking go, the pub or the cinema?”

“I want to see the Lego 2 movie,” Eggsy answered. “And hold hands while we eat popcorn. Then we’ll come back here and you can prove your sex god thing. Maybe the pub later in the week.”

“Fine, but I’m more Batman than the Batman in those movies. Just so you are aware,” Percival replied and held out his hand.

“You like me?” Eggsy stared at the fingers.

“Quite a bit,” Percival promised.

Eggsy took the hand offered and they went out on a date.

******************************************************

Eggsy would not laugh. He wouldn’t.

“I made your boyfriend beautiful,” Daisy said.

“You certainly did,” Eggsy agreed. “Daisy, that’s not makeup, what is it?”

“The smellies!” Daisy said cheerfully. She got down off the chair she had been standing on, to draw on Percival’s face. She brought her bag over to Eggsy and held it open. “See?”

Eggsy looked in the bag. “Those...are not your washable markers,” he said. 

“I do smell quite nice though,” Percival replied. He sniffed. “I smell like a fruit basket.” He smiled at Daisy, “Thank you for making me beautiful. Could you take a picture of me and your brother together?” He held out his phone to her.

“Yes!” she said and stood back on the chair and took a really great photo of their chins. 

Eggsy fell all the way in love when Percival didn’t care the whole time they visited about the marker on his face, and tolerated Daisy getting jam on his clothes, and Michelle being a bit flirty. “You don’t have to leave looking like that,” Eggsy whispered to Percival when they were trying to go, but Daisy was insisting showing them just one more thing.

“But don’t you think I’m beautiful?” Percival batted his lashes and Eggsy snickered.

“Most beautiful, ever.” When they got back to Eggsy’s flat, Eggsy carefully put rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball and cleaned Percival’s face. “Thank you,” Eggsy said. Once Percival was clean he pressed his forehead against his boyfriend’s. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Percival said. They stayed in the bathroom just leaning against each other for a very long time.

********************************

“Hey, you haven’t given me any pointers in a while, want to try some wind simulations. Mind helping me?” Eggsy asked after a brief knock on Percival’s door.

“Of course, I just need to finish updating my file on you,” Percival said and kept typing.

Eggsy laughed, delighted, and sat in the chair. “Awww baby you got a gift list, my birthday, favourite colour sort of thing?”

“Not quite. Since we have agreed that we love each other, I need to change some things.”

Eggsy stilled, “I love you, Oliver, but I’m not sure that we are at changing our wills place yet. I dig that you are a planner, but that’s a bit much innit?”

Percival stopped typing and looked up. “No this is my kill list. I need to change my plans, because my feeling for you will affect how I approach the task.”

Eggsy paused, “Your what list?”

“My kill list.”

“No still not hearing you right,” Eggsy felt the words slide from his mouth, slithers of letters that fell to the ground, pooled dark and worried. “What kill list?”

“Certainly you have one,” Percival replied. “It is just logical.”

“No, babe,” it felt wrong to call him something personal right now. “No, Percival, I do not have a kill list. What exactly is your kill list, and who is on it?”

“Is it who, or whom, I can never remember which to use,” Percival mused.

“To, for, by, with, from whom, everything else is who and the who the fuck are you planning to kill. Me? Harry, I know not Roxy but -”

“I have a file on how to kill Roxy,” Percival shrugged, “wouldn’t be a very effective kill list if I left someone off would it.”

“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A KILL LIST?”

Percival’s voice stayed the same, “Because we are the deadliest people in the world. Forget official agencies, we are far scarier, more determined, more everything. And we believe we are in the right, but what if we aren’t? What if we collectively aren’t, what if one of us one day, no longer follows the rules of the Kingsman. Anyone of us going rogue, could actually fulfill any end of the world plan that they devise. So I have files on everyone here. I know the best way to remove every Kingsman agent and a good number of support staff from the world.”

Eggsy swallowed the bile that had risen, “Merlin know about this?”

“I assume, I don’t particularly encrypt these files, and one day there were subtle changes to my file on him that improved my plans. So I am sure he knows and at least doesn’t disapprove.”

“You were cold because you were shy,” Eggsy said. “You used to make me nervous, and then I got to know you, and you were wonderful. And you sit there and tell me you have a file on how to kill your niece. To kill me. To kill people I love.”

“To kill people I love, yes. Because if there is not a potential check on us, then should the worse come to pass, the world is fucked. I told you months ago, I’m Batman.”

“You have a cape you wear?”

Percival laughed, “No, but if you want me to one night in bed…”

“You think you are getting in my bed again?” Eggsy snapped. “What the fuck do you mean you are Batman?”

“There is a series, where he explained that he knew how to dispose of every superhero should they go rogue, and it is a good plan. It is why he is the best - he is willing to think around the corners that most superheroes don’t, and though he has that power he doesn’t use it. But he could. But I could.”

“I like Green Lantern,” Eggsy said. “You in there too?”

“Of course, it is just logical,” Percival said.

“And here is me being logical,” Eggsy replied and walked out of the office. He went to the bathroom and threw up until all that was left was dry heaves. He cried on the ground beside the toilet and was grateful no one asked if he was okay. When he managed to have one small thread of composure, he went to Merlin. “I need to move flats,” he said.

“Why?” Merlin was clearly concerned when he looked at Eggsy’s face.

“Because Percival knows where I live and has a key to there, and I never want to be in a room alone with him ever again.”

“Stay at the estate, while I arrange it,” Merlin suggested.

“You know why, don’t you?”

“I can guess.”

“How are you okay with it?” Eggsy asked. “He would kill us without hesitation, how can you be okay with that?”

“Because in theory I should be the one to pull that trigger, and I couldn’t,” Merlin said, “and out of kindness to me, he would.”

“He has no heart.”

“He does, and it is yours. This is not a matter of the heart. It is -”

“I don’t fucking care, Merlin. The man I love has a plan on how to kill me. You think I can go to the pub with him again? Look him in the eye again? Trust him in my bed, ever again?”

“I don’t know, do you?”

“Find me a new flat, Merlin,” Eggsy said and walked out of the room. He packed up every gift that Percival had given him and dropped them off to Roxy, asking her to give them to him. She was good enough not to ask any questions.

Eggsy figured he knew Percival well enough, that the man would leave him alone. Maybe, he wasn’t sure he knew the man at all.

But he was right and Percival never bothered him.

***********************************

Eggsy sank slowly down onto Percival’s cock, they both made a noise when he was all the way down. He moved himself up and dropped back down and they looked at each other. Eggsy gave a slow smile and set a pace. He was in no hurry. It had been almost a year since they last had sex. He had missed the man and a three months ago after a bullet got a little too close to killing him, Eggsy realized their lives were too short, the risks too great and he had gone into Percival’s office and said he had found a midnight showing of the Adam West Batman movie, would he maybe like to go.

The joy on Percival’s face had broken Eggsy’s heart. The man really did love him.

He slowly built up speed as he rocked on Percival’s cock. Percival’s fingers begin to stroke him and it felt great. He had missed the man’s gun calluses, they felt better than his own. They were quiet, more quiet than they ever had been, and they never stopped looking at each other when Eggsy tipped over first and Percival followed him quickly.

Eggsy got up and returned with a flannel and cleaned Percival up. He lay down next to him and put a hand over Percival’s heart. “I missed you so much, Oliver.”

“I was bereft without you at my side.”

“That sounds nice. Old fashioned.”

“I sometimes am,” he replied. His hand was stroking up and down Eggsy’s back.

“I have something for you, it might be a little stupid but I want you to have it, yeah?”

“A gift?” Percival sounded surprised, but pleased.

“Sort of, hang on,” Eggsy sort of crawled on top of him and opened the night table.  In a flash he had a gun out, safety off, and pressed against Percival’s forehead. “This is how it would end. My kill list. We have the best sex ever, I mean just the best ever. And you know how much I love you, and that is a fucking lot. And then I fucking empty the chamber into your skull.” He pressed the gun hard against Percival’s forehead. “You get me, Percival?”

“I get you,” Percival replied.

Eggsy put the gun back and was shivering, shaking. Percival pulled him down, and wrapped them tightly in the blankets and held Eggsy tight. Eggsy started to sob and Percival made soothing noises and promises of love. “Please don’t go evil. I’ll do what I have to but please, promise me you won’t go evil. Please, Oliver, you have to promise me.”

“I promise you Eggsy, here and now, that I will never go evil.” Percival kissed his head. “I promise. I promise.”

Eggsy felt the words reverberate against him, pour into him, and Percival kept saying them until he went hoarse, until Eggsy relaxed. I love you was sometimes mixed into the I promises.

Eggsy wondered if he’d ever really know Percival

He wondered if he knew the man too well.

But he knew they were together and going to be until the end - whatever that may be.


End file.
